When was the last time you really (like really) screamed?
It seems weird (and a little crazy) but honestly, it's therapeutic and I feel like women should do it more.
Like...At the mall and jeans don't fit—scream.
Find yourself constantly interrupted at work—scream.
Watch a narcissistic felon become president—scream.
Lose the right to choose what is right for your body—scream.
I'm almost kidding.
When my daughter is upset, she goes into her room and screams into a pillow. Then she walks back out good as new.
I think she's on to something.
So, I decided to give it a try one day recently—after watching the US election shit show—when no one was home (baby steps).
And. It. Was. AWESOME.
It got me curious—was this a "thing" that I had stumbled upon? So I went down a "screaming for therapy" rabbit hole and folks—it's totally a thing! Across the globe, including in places known for their strong sense of community, like Sweden, they come together to scream as one! How magnificently epic.
Rebranded as mindful screaming, primal therapy or dynamic therapy—seems like screaming might be just what we need right now and into the next four years.
The idea of screaming as a therapeutic emotional release isn’t especially new. ‘Primal therapy’ began to gain traction in the early 1970s following the publication of psychotherapist Arthur Janov’s first book,
The Primal Scream. Janov theorised that repressed emotions cause psychological issues, so he encouraged people in primal therapy to let go of these pent-up feelings in whatever way they wanted: such as talking, crying and, often, screaming [
www.dazeddigital.com]
And the Data Says it All
Eighty percent of all autoimmune diseases happen to women.
It's wild.
And according to Dr. Gabor Mate , it's because women's role in society is that of the caretaker. The "does it all" crown we often choose to wear is making us sick. Dr. Gabor Mate has written several books on this but my two favourites are When The Body Say No and The Myth of Normal. They go hand-in-hand and once you read them, you'll understand why. We’re ultimately suppressing ourselves to function in a society that was not built for us.
How has this shown up for me?
In November of 2020, the same year I launched joni, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. While I don’t think my suppressed emotions caused the lesions in my right frontal lobe or cervical spine, I do believe that it contributed to it in ways that our medical system has yet to fully understand. I kept trying to explain to my doctors how it felt - like my nerves were raw - for years leading up to my diagnosis.
Interestingly, lesions from MS are basically the coating of your nervous system being attacked. The coating was indeed raw.
Intuitively, I knew. Medicine just had to catch up.
So what do we do about it? Besides scream—although that is a good start.
They say if you want to change the world, you need to change yourself. And this is one of those times where it is very true.
Self care is an act of resilience. Scream your scream my friend.
I'm Drowning in a Hotel Room
It's one of the oddest symptoms I have from perimenopause.
I'm now claustrophobic.
I feel trapped while in line on the loading bridge to board a plane.
In hotel rooms where the windows don't open.
In high-rise condos where I can't get outside easily.
In a room full of people when I can't see the exit.
Each time I get really panicky and have to focus on my breathing, focus on my body, and work really hard not to go over the edge and panic.
It’s something I’ve never had to deal with before.
Ever.
And I keep asking myself, what is this new fear trying to tell me? It's always trying to tell you something.
I've yet to figure that out.
Like most of us, I thought for a long time that maybe it was just me. However—and this is the power of our stories—while chatting with others recently about this phenomenon, I've learned many others go through the exact same thing during their pregnancy too.
Ah-ha! It's the hormones. Yet again.
To help me work through the feeling of panic I get when I feel stuck in a hotel room or condo etc., I now always bring a portable fan with me. The gentle breeze it provides creates the illusion of open spaces and fresh air. I feel less like I'm drowning in my hotel room.
That and Ativan - just having it with me in my bag makes me feel better. A perfect placebo.
It's wild where life takes you.
Tis the Season
Happy December 1st. Christmas can bring out the best and worst in us and—because women tend to carry the majority of the mental labour required to make Christmas happen—I’ve got a playlist for you.
Enjoy.
Things I Love
M Pause Movie Screening: For those in Victoria you are hearing it here first - I'm excited to announce the M Pause Screening on January 15th. Tickets available here. Limited capacity. Bring a friend and get yours early!
Lindy AI: To help me prep for my many meetings, I've been using the default AI assistant with Lindy. It's amazing. I get a full historical reference for the person I'm going to meet with (everyone on the invite outside of our organization) so that I'm fully prepared going into the meeting, saving a lot of time.
Artists to Know: I recently asked for recommendations on LinkedIn for Canadian or US-based artists and photographers and the names poured in! The list is diverse and included an amazing variety of talent. I'm sharing it in case it can help you with a project.
Travel Support & Discounts: A friend of mine recently launched a company that provides travel agent services—without the agency fees! Actually, at no cost at all! You also get access to amazing deals and perks on hotels. I cannot recommend it enough, especially for anyone managing group trips and team on-sites. Make your life easier!
Email michelle.maxwell@fora.travel
In solidarity 🖤
If you found what you read valuable, please share with someone you care about. makeher is a labour of love because I believe that women deserve to feel good, build wealth and wellness, and create a life that inspires them. This often means challenging the status quo and flipping some tables. I'm here for that.
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